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| It's finally the last day of the year, never thought i'd live to see this day.
This year has been quite a struggle.
i'm really glad it's over.
seen many different types of people this year,
with behaviours that shock me.
to think that this is the world that i'll be in in the future
i am utterly disgusted.
time to come out from that protected shell and face the world head on.
on a brighter note,
i'm really grateful for my dearest friends who've been such a joy to be with
and who've been there to laugh cry or just talk to me (:
brenda, ruiqi, ju, dolly, jiayin, yisan, sufen, ze & sherm especially.
i'll just let the photos do the talking, too much to say... 
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! (: (: (:
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| Second week of prelims passed.
i felt chem was the worst, but it's probably cos i still am not fully prepared! ):
and i realised i keep making so many careless mistakes.
it is really annoying.
each time i find out another careless mistake i made, i feel like slapping myself.
but in any case,
i'm glad this week's over.
2 more days of exams. and a short wave of liberation is here!
the last two days had funny things happening to me.
on friday i went to the gym and since it was my first time using the bicycle-like machine
i didn't know what to do.
there were buttons, so i thought..
naturally.... press them? haha. so i pressed.
then nothing happened.
pressed again, while trying to press the other buttons, hmmm....
still cannot leh!
"WHY AH?"
and then after quite awhile, and i was thinking that maybe the machine's spoilt and i should move to another one, the auntie next to me, obviously noticed i was having some kind of trouble.... said
"Girl ah, you must pedal first to generate the electricity, then can press the button"
....
i went like "OHHHHHH." haha. was so embarrassing i wanted to bury myself in the ground.
and then, yesterday i was rushing to national library.
and i was supposed to cross this short stretch of road. one way.
so i looked at the direction where cars were coming from... no cars.
OKAY, walk!
then, i walked, and guess what, the car in front reversed! and hit me!
the guy opposite the road made a weird sound of shock.. hahah
i got like pushed back, but didnt fall thankfully.
and i just continued walking. hahah.
when i told my mum about it, she said "Why didn't you stay and scold the driver!"
and at coffee bean, someone plugged in the wire of his laptop to the power point, and then i smartly tripped over it.
fortunately he was holding on to his laptop if not it would've fallen off the table. ):
unfortunate days!
i wonder what's wrong with me. haha.
and yesterday i also couldn't pronounced the word 'silicon' properly.
kept saying si-la-con.
evern when i tried to say it slowly.
my body's screwed up man.
AND! i have a huge ulcer which has been there since the beginning of the week ):
it hurts. booo.
alright back to studying.
M.U.G
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| It's been only two days of prelims and here i am, brain fried.
I don't know what to expect, i just hope i do better than CTs.
can't get any worse, can it?
I hope, haha.
If not, i'll probably go bury myself.
My brain is telling me that it needs rest, i tried to take a nap, BUT couldn't.
Because i was planning what to do after my rest, and planning and planning and planning
until... i'm not sleepy anymore, so i guess this might help me relief some stress.
I hope i sound coherent, because when i was out just now, i uttered this really weird and incoherent sentence to brenda and she just laughed right out loud at my face. evil.
poor me, haha.
anyway, gp was hard. the compre was just going on and on about things i don't understand.
i need a miracle!
bio was hmmmm, i don't know because my brain was so fried so i hope i do okay.
i think i better study harder for paper 1 and 3 to make up, just in case this paper screws up.
today's econs was the first time in history that i had something to write, and i don't sit there staring at my paper thinking of what to write.
Well, writing the right stuff is one thing, but at least i've got things to write.
let's just hope it's a good sign.
tmr's math, hohoho.
i'm quite scared, was attempting acjc last year's prelim paper, it's hard :(
and mr teo said the paper was challenging and blah,
it's just really pressurising.
and it would suck alot if all this pressure doesn't make me end up with good results,
because my cells would be dying away all for nothing!
i want to pass math, and if possible, do well!
mannn...
i really feel very stressed esp. cos i can literally hear mr teo's voice in my head telling me
"dorlisa, why you never come and have consultation with me? you like that die already lah, die already."
of course he doesn't mean it in a like 'really die' kind of way,
but ....
okay, man i sound like i have no life, just talking about exams and exams. hahah
i have a life okay! soon..
i'm going to do so many things i've been waiting to do after Alevels.
like ... clubbing. (HAHAH!)
just joking, would probably not like it.
but i'd like to go to a lounge to sit and listen to nice music. esp those live bands.
and and and, i want to go for a massage, or some spa!
and learn to drive!
and give tuition!
and go overseas with friends!
and and go for a CIP trip!
and exercise like mad!
and sing karaoke until i have no voice!
and go shopping!
and sleep in without a care in the world!
and talk on the phone with people who matter!
and go to the beach!
and enjoy fellowship of my favourite people!
and go to youth service!
and join the worship team!
and try to learn ballet again! (heee)
and continue playing badminton <3
and go attempt to attain the highest level of self confidence with sufen!
and spend more time with my parents who are ever so nice and understanding and caring all this while, esp when i get annoyed easily and snap at everyone in the house.
and laze around at home watching tv and vcds
and read all the books i want to read since the start of the year!
and ....
"What is the significance of the author in using the 3 dots at the end?"
GEEPEE!
haha, alright. i'm done. this is the extent of my leisure now, off for a wonderful bath, and then... math! I can do this!
and if you who are reading this is J2, YOU CAN DO THIS TOO (:
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| The eyes of the Father run to and fro
He's searching the earth
He's looking for those who make intercession
On behalf of their nation
Those who will rise up and pray
[Chorus]
We'll stand in the gap on behalf of our land
We'll stand in the gap on behalf of our land
Down on our knees
We'll take our stand
And there intercede for our land
We'll pray for the needs of our land
The power of darkness released from our lands
Will never prevail
Will never withstand
The deep intercession
by a people of passion
Those who will rise up and pray
This song is very meaningful. It depicts Numbers 16 very well, how Aaron stood in the gap, between the living and the dead. Have been learning a lot in church, suddenly the bible seems to come to life, so interesting. It is indeed full of wisdom. I'm reminded of another song similar to this. Only can remember the chorus though.
We want to run to the altar
And catch the fire
To stand in the gap
Between the living and the dead
Give us a heart of compassion
For a world without vision
We will make a difference
Bringing hope to our land
I thought yesterday's quiet time spoke a lot to me, and perhaps to many others who are, like me, studying (or at least attempting to) for CTs. The struggle and fatigue and stress simply piles on us, we don't know how to overcome it, and we end up being frustrated with ourselves and the people around us. We become miserable and are not able to enjoy our life. We end up having 'no life'.
However, in Colossians 3:23-24, it states "Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that it is from the Lord that you will receive the inheritance which is your reward." Jesus died so that we could enjoy abundant life, not just the days that we are off work or on vacation or when we go shopping, but everyday of our lives! He wants us to enjoy doing what we are supposed to do (ie. studying), and not think of it as a chore. Of course, it is easier said than done, but i believe if i am determined to do so, i can enjoy my life. I am going to enjoy every aspect of my life, because Jesus died so that I could have joy unspeakable and full of glory.
"The joy of the Lord is my strength"
My friends are my strength too. =)
I can do this.
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| Here I am
Humbled by Your majesty
Covered by Your grace so free
Here I am
Knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb
Here I am
Humbled by the love that You give
Forgiven so that i can forgive
Here I stand
Knowing that I'm Your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire
Now I've found
The greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down Your life
The greatest sacrifice
Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty-handed by alive in Your hands
Singing Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by Your love
In the presence of Your majesty
I'm so glad that I've got God carrying me through my life. I'm so blessed, i can't contain it. So much, i've gotta give it away. Your love has taught me to live now, You are more than enough for me! God brought me through my Olevel year, and i'm sure he'll be with me throughout this arduous Alevel journey. I know i need to start on my work, it's such a pile, so daunting. I need to catch up by so much. No more excuses, no more distractions. Time to focus. I need to know what i want, and strive towards it. I need the motivate to start and to continue pushing on when the going gets tough. I pray that God will help me, to be my pillar of strength, my hiding place. He said "Come to me those who are weary, and I will give you rest." Although Alevels seems like an obstacle a size of a mountain, all it needs is faith the size of a mustard seed to move and conquer this mountain. AMEN!
With that said, Alevels, here I come!
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